So, it all started with planning for guests at my house for
Easter dinner. It started out simply enough. I had the meal all planned, the
house was clean; I had even cleaned out my car so I could give a lovely tour of
Dubuque after dinner. In fact I was so
organized and so far ahead that last night, I emailed a good friend and
thought, “I will spend some sometime Amy, have some fun conversation over cocktails and then get up at the crack of dawn
to get any finishing touches done in the morning. It will be a nice weekend.”
I woke up this morning, and decided to take the dog (yes, the
handsome, Simon) for a walk to wear him out. It makes him a better host. If I
can wear him out, he will find a corner and drop out cold for the day. We were off on this beautiful morning, 9:30AM,
me and the dog, enjoying the beautiful countryside of the Asbury trail
system.
After about quarter mile there was “the pond.” Simon lives for this pond, it’s very clear,
pretty low water, maybe 3 feet, just perfect for an old man to float around in
for a while. As the water was so clear, I thought, “Who cares? Let him
go.” The instant he went in, a man walked by and said, “I
wouldn’t have let him go in there, my dog got stuck in the mud last week.” Well, we all know Simon and his hips, so I
knew this was going to end badly. There he was 6 feet out and stuck solid. In my hands were his leash, poop bags and car
keys. Yes, car keys.
I thought I left
everything on the shore when I waded out to waist high water to drag this old
man out of the mud. The mud kept sucking the shoes off my feet, so I gave one
up and kept pushing his butt out of the mud. He of course is trying to “help”
so he is splashing like hell on the front end. I get him out. I get back up on
shore and then decide that I like those sneakers, they are Coach and I am not
giving them up. I go back in for the sneaker. I find it, full of mud and other
scary things..
Simon is covered in clay/mud from his ears to his tail and
so am I. I have mud in my hair, in my teeth, my ears and all the way up to my
chest. All this is bad enough, but remember I have a houseful of people coming
at 12:30.
No keys. Yep, no keys. They
are in the pond.
I am on my stomach pulling up handfuls of scum, no keys.
People are walking by and a guy finally asks if he can give us a ride back the
house. So, for 15 minutes, I am walking back to this man’s truck with mud in my
hair, teeth etc. while people are strolling by in their Sunday wear, looking at
me like I have been assaulted.
This man offers to let me sit in his truck and I refuse as I
am a disaster and instead ride home in the back of his pickup with my dog.
(Company
coming at 12:30…)
Now, of course my neighbor
is standing in her front yard, (the same neighbor that was present for the
ground squirrel episode this past winter) if you don’t know that story that is
for another day. She saw me leave in an hour ealier in my shades and baseball cap, in my clean
SUV and now sees me return in the back of a strange pickup truck covered in
mud. She is a very good friend so she
comes over and helps me get Simon down out of the truck and stands there
smiling, not saying a word. I told her I needed a ride back to my car, but I
had to find keys to the car and the house. Jan just smiled and said “certainly.
But I get EVERY detail on the way.” Fine.
Well, I cleaned the
garage several weeks ago and put the extra house keys in such a safe place,
that I could not find them. The only way in the house is through the dog door.
Yep….
Company coming at 12:30….
I get on my hands and knees and crawl in the house through
the dog door. I go upstairs open the door and tell Jan I will be right out.
Simon gets in.
I walk out of the
bathroom and my huge, black lab is in the middle the house in full shake out. FULL
SHAKE OUT. There is mud on the walls, on
the windows and every glass table in the living room. PLUS, the white table
cloth and all the table settings that I put out that morning. I just stand
there and breathe. Company coming at 12:30…
I get the keys, we go get my car, I get home, throw Simon in the
tub and give him a bath, run around and strip off clothes, table cloth, etc.
and throw everything in the washer. I grab Windex spray all the tables, wash
the dishes, reset the table, sprayed Febreeze and called it good. It is now
11:40.
I take a shower, redo hair and make-up, mop the floors,
clean the bathroom AGAIN, (you cannot image how much mud came off that dog!)
and as the first car pulls in, I slam a shot of Irish whiskey.
After everyone left, I dropped on the couch and decided to
focus on the positive.
1)
I had a crock pot main course. Thank God!
2)
All food prep was done
3)
I had extra car keys
4)
I found my extra house keys, IN the house
(bright as a bulb, am I)
5)
Wet mud comes off walls and glass very easily
6)
My neighbor was home to give me a ride
7)
I saved my shoes
8)
AND, I still have Irish whiskey left in the
kitchen for a nice little night cap
Happy Easter.
No comments:
Post a Comment